“What do you mean, love doesn’t exist?"
There was once a psychology professor of mine, Professor Daniel Rijo, who said in the middle of class that love doesn't exist. The controversy was immediate, and several voices were heard: "How can love not exist?", "I love my girlfriend", "I love my son", "Of course there is", ... With all these statements he asked us to define love. The truth is that each person who dared to define love, defined it in a very personal way, sometimes giving it a more romanticized version, sometimes giving it a more fraternal and family version. To those who described love in the romanticized version, the teacher asked "So you don't love your father and mother?" and the person understood that the given definition of love had nothing to do with the love the person felt for his family, or even for his friends; however, the person said that he also loved all those people.
The definition of love
Then what is love? Try searching the internet for the definition of love and you'll see many different definitions; and even if you feel you relate to something there, it won't match up to your expectations; nothing related to how you feel about the people you love. It's not that the definition isn’t there, it's that what you feel is much more than want is there.
Are you able to make a clear definition, including all the people you love in your definition? It's difficult, isn't it?!
Love is a lot of things
Feelings are translated into words but much more into actions, behaviors, gestures.... Present or absent. The importance that love has in our lives is immense. Love has the power to be our flashlight in dark times, we attribute miracles to love. Love is joy. Love is happiness! Don't think that this is a definition; it is just a description of what I feel, see and hear out there by people who say they love and are loved.
Healthy love vs. pathological love
Your happiness depends on love, but before you love anyone, you must love yourself. You cannot love a person without loving yourself first. The love you feel for a person cannot be your only reason to live. The love that brings us happiness is 100% healthy and a blessing, it sees clearly (it’s not blind), it hears clearly, it is intelligent in the choices it makes and has an instinct for survival. When all this fails, love is ill; this love does us harm... is it pathological. Don't forget, to keep it healthy, you should love yourself. If the other person who you love, loves and loves you, he/she will encourage you to do so.
Certainties about love, not definitions
One thing I'm sure of, no one can be happy without love.
Another certainty... It's not because you can't find a definition that includes everyone, that you can say that it doesn't exist.
The last certainty is that you know that it exists. Even if you can't transform it in words, you can feel it; and that's the most important thing because it doesn't exist to be defined, but to be felt.
Love yourself, love and be happy.
“True Love in this differs from gold and clay,
That to divide is not to take away.”
Percy Bysshe Shelley